is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
