Three words: puerto rican gang bang
...so i touched it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
