I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
