College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Couch. On fire.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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