Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
