Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
