your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
