O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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