I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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