How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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