Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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