If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
