Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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