You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
