I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
