I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
