Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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