You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
