whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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