just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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