I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
