Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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