best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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