Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
