He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
