I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
