Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
