Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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