im about as happy as oj after his trial
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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