spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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