i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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