i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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