it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No subtext here. People are naked.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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