he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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