uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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