I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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