You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
