first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
