I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
