I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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