Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She told me I should be a condom model.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
whose parrot is this?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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