after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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