I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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