names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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