How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
