Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
