Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
