Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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