hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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