Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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